Trust is rather illusive. There are people I trust, and there are people I do not. This, I would argue, is a consequence of their actions. If they are deserving of trust, than I will grant it to them, and vice versa. I feel completely justified in not trusting someone who hasn't proven to be 'trustworthy'. God has given me a brain, and He expects me to use it. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
God has also called me to love, and has shown me by example how to do so. In case I didn't get what was supposed to happen by his example, He lays out what love is and is not in 1 Corinthians 13. In this description, He says that 'love always trusts'. What are we supposed to do with that? Is He asking us to do something that doesn't quite make sense… again?
It seems that trust is quite similar to faith. It doesn't always make sense, and we often can't explain it. For example: God loves the world, therefore by definition there is some sort of trust in there that we certainly haven't earned. This doesn't make sense. To prove this, Jesus entrusted His entire life's work to a handful of friends that had proved themselves to be anything but trustworthy. Why? Because Jesus had faith in them. Faith is essential to trust, you cannot have the latter without the former. The Bible tells us to fight for faith (1 Tim. 6:12) and to trust in the Lord (Psalm 37:3, Proverbs 3:5). Both instances are calls to action, not necessarily based on empirical evidence or how we feel.
Through faith and a trust in God (neither of which make sense on our terms), we are given grace (which also doesn't make sense). Grace means that because of our faith, we are set free from our past to enter into a relationship with God. Since sin is the antithesis of God, anything containing sin would not be able to stand before God without being destroyed, thus the necessity of forgiveness and Christ's sacrifice. Faith also means accepting Jesus' sacrifice as sufficient and trusting God to change us into the person He designed us to be in the first place.
For the past fifteen years or so, sexual temptations have been my Achilles heel. They have been a constant fight, most of the time with me on the losing side. My whole adult life has been consisted of me trying in vain to do the right thing, and with me failing sooner or later every time. I always wanted to be rid of this sin, to actually believe that I could move on from my past and become the man God wanted me to be, but never had anything to hang my hat on. Why should I believe in myself when I know how I have always acted in the past. I hadn't proven myself trustworthy.
The last month has not been without temptation, but for the first time in I don't know how many years God has protected me from and seen me through every struggle. He has blessed my efforts to seek Him and trust Him with actual results. He has grown my faith, and has cleared my record through His son. Faith is more than just believing that there is a God who has a son who died to save everyone from sin. Faith is knowing that Christ conquered sin, that He has conquered my sin and will pull me out if its chokehold of guilt and doubt if we just ask and seek Him.
Faith is the beginning of hope. Through suffering, perseverance, and character building, we are blessed with a hope for a better future both here on Earth (by freedom from our past and credited perfection allowing a relationship with God) and in Heaven. Faith in Christ has released us from who we were and has shown us what we have to look forward to, but what about the present?
God's ultimate gift to me, thus far, has been peace. This again, is a product of faith. Once I was released from my past and shown that I needn't worry about my future, I can finally relax and start to enjoy the freedom that Jesus has given to me, all because of an unexplainable faith in Him. This is the "peace that transcends all understanding" (Philippians 4:7) and the way that we can be delivered from all of our fears (Psalm 34:4). If we find ourselves apprehensive or unsettled about anything, it is time we go back to the basics and examine our faith.
I have not arrived at some 'ah-hah' spot, nor am I completely rid of anxiety. I'm not 'there'. I really don't even know where 'there' is. I do know that God's anxiously waiting to take our hand and lighten our load. It's possible. If God can save me and take away my guilt, He can do the same anyone. Give Him and honest chance, really try to learn about Him and He will make your life a lot better.
This wasn't meant to be a sermon, and I'm not even sure it will make sense to anyone else, but I guess it is what it is. I've just been really interested in how faith, trust, righteousness, and hope work together, and this is what came out. Please let me know if I've missed anything along the way.
1 comment:
Amen and amen.
What else can I say?
I'll say this one thing-- I've seen so much that transformation and victory over sin is THE spiritual issue in my life right now. It is the rubber-meets-the-road Christianity, at least for me. And while at one time I thought I had this all figured out (shout out to "The Life of Victory" by Meade MacGuire!), now I feel like I don't know a thing. Wait-- that's not true. I feel like I have a lot of answers in my head, but I'm lacking the tangible product in my life. What does Christ in me, "the hope of glory" really mean? How is victory in Christ more than just trying hard?
God has done an amazing work in my own experience and changed me so much, but then I look inside and there's that shame always peeking around the corner, ready to defeat me again. Back to the basics, back to the basics... "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sin and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." . . .
Good thoughts, Sir.
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