Lamentations 3:19-33

I remember my affliction and my wandering,
the bitterness and the gall.
I well remember them
and my soul is downcast within me.
Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope:

Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed,
for His compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
great is Your faithfulness.
I say to myself, "the Lord is my portion;
therefore I will wait for Him."

The Lord is good to those whose hope is in Him,
to the one who seeks Him;
it is good to wait quietly
for the salvation of the Lord.
It is good for a man to bear the yoke
while he is young.

Let him sit alone in silence,
for the Lord has laid it on him.
Let him bury his face in the dust-
there may yet be hope.
Let him offer his cheek to one who would strike him,
and let him be filled with disgrace.

For men are not cast off by the Lord forever.
Though he brings grief,
he will show compassion,
so great is His unfailing love.
For He does not willingly bring affliction or grief to the children of men.

Sofa reminiscent

It's not the subject that I miss, but the feeling
of a time a little more simple and sweet.
From the shadows of my memory come,
hazy pictures with blurry faces and
moments immortal, yet not crystal.

Hard times have become shrouded by the waxing good,
the loud has become soft, and the soft loud.
A sweet whisper is an obelisk, enduring, prominent while
memories once harsh have scurried into the dark alleys,
places at once difficult, dangerous, and unrewarding to explore.

Reflection is a sunset, golden and warm...
trails drenched in yellows, and orange and
oh! but it burns to look ahead and
the path traveled is now comfortable. So, here
with a yearning heart my soul does say,
it is well.

11:59pm

It's 11:59, well now midnight. I just got home from the office and I cannot stop thinking about work. Where is our next job going to come from? How are we going to get our name out there? How can we afford the equipment we need to do our job? Why do plans keep falling through!

Now that I've gotten home, this change of scenery should provide the incentive I needed to keep working. And working. and working...

Someone told me that our bodies require a certain amount of sleep to be creative. I feel like I'm having to sacrifice sleep in order to preserve a life of creativity. Sleep and security and friends.

Luckily, my ice cream sandwich is here to keep me company.

Thanks pal.

Inconvenienced

Gas inland is about 35 cents a gallon cheaper than gas in LA. For this reason, I've started buying inland, at the same place in Colton, about halfway between Maranatha's house and where the mtn. biking trails are at.

When I filled up last Sunday I got approached again by another person asking for money. It was seriously the third or fourth time that day that people had asked me for money. And, every time I've filled my car up at this place, I've always been guilted into giving someone something.

Yes, I realize that is a terrible thing to think, but I thought it. I genuinely felt inconvenienced, and wished that I could just live my life in peace. I'm sad to say that I did not cheerfully help every person who asked. I'm sad to say that I often think life is about me, and what I want, and what I think I need, and how I feel.

So it comes as no surprise that the last three times I've opened the Bible, its been to Isaiah 58. No matter how much I try to ignore God, He always has a way of shedding light on the truth if I'll only open my eyes.

Double Tall Soy Latte

No doubt espresso/coffee gets expensive, but I would argue that it pays for itself.

Being self-employed at this juncture, I have found that to be productive requires a plan. Secondly, I need small goals (weeks) rather than long goals (months etc...). Four hours ago, I had no plan for the upcoming week or any energy/motivation to be productive.

Enter one $4 double tall soy latte. Now, at 1am I now have a good start on the week ahead with energy to spare for a quick blog.

It may be unfortunate that caffeine is my effective catalyst for efficiency, but the fact remains.

Conclusion: $4 well spent.

On regret

I've decided not to live in regret.

This requires two things:

1. Don't do regretful things
2. Let go of the past

Not Long

It doesn't take long for acquaintances to become friends. It just takes some sort of shared experience to seal the deal.

Take this afternoon for example. Maranatha gave Elia a new DJ'ing machine, so the three of us plus two other friends spent the afternoon banging on things, laughing, and having a great time 'making music'. I know have two new friends.

And... I learned that Norway is the land where dreams come true. Who knew?

My Self Righteous Rant

Allow me, for a moment, to rant about something that isn't new or original.

Adventists, by and large, are the most hypocritical group of people that I know. Myself included. True, many of the people I know and most that I know well are Adventist, and we are nauseatingly hypocritical. We are causing people to have a grossly distorted view of God because of how we act, what we are comfortable with, and who we exclude because we are too damn lazy to put the effort into getting to know them for who they are rather than what they aren't.

We should be ashamed of ourselves.

Life is not about surrounding yourself with what is comfortable and protecting yourself from what isn't. Life is for living. So stop protecting yourself and live! You know that people's perception of God is dependent on how we live our lives, so it's bigger than just you.

Get over yourself, and live life. Fully and abundantly.

Life life. Purposefully and with variety.

Live. Life.

New Post?!

Well I've nearly made it a year since writing on this blog, and to tell you the truth I'm not sure I have anything urgent to say right now. Maybe an overview will suffice for the mean time.

Since last writing, a lot has happened in my life. I have gone through four jobs, a long relationship, started a company, eaten hundreds of donuts, and moved to Hollywood. My days are spent talking to wedding planners, help in the production of a feature length film, learning about documentaries, and figuring out what exactly is up with life.

I mean really. What is up... life?

You're crazy.

I'm not sure I can keep up.

It is interesting though, and filled with great people and a loving God. I always hoped that life would be an adventure, but I could not have planned a trip like this if I would have wanted to.

Fear of Failure

The fear of failure has been ruling my life.

It has to stop.

It has crept in under the guise of rationality, safety, and appearance. It has kept the ‘what-if’s’ at bay. It’s kept those ‘grounded in reality’ and ‘in the real world’ pacified. It’s kept my potential untapped, and rendered my life passionless. It has kept my dreams as just that, dreams.

So what if I try and fail. Really, will I be any worse for trying? Will those who may laugh and scorn my being ‘out of touch’ have gained anything on me? Will I be less satisfied with myself because I went for it?

Why is it assumed that those we might deem successful have something that the rest of us lack? Could it be that these ‘achievers’ really just have the guts to keep swinging after repeated misses? Is that really the secret? Does it boil down to just going for stuff without the certainty of success, aka, the ability to overcome the fear of failure?

Yes!

We were not created to be timid and to live the safe life, waiting for certainty before making decision. This is the path to being Luke-warm and passion-less, which God detests. While we are to have faith that God will guide and lead us, we are not to hide behind this and excuse our fear of making the wrong decision as waiting on God to ‘open the right door’.

Jesus sent His disciples out without extra clothes or money, obvious necessities for making the trip they were about to, as a faith builder. He told them to go, and trust that He would bless them with provisions along the way. He did not lay everything out ahead of time so that His disciples understood what was going to happen. Jesus said go! Do it! I’ll take care of you. I’ll bless you along the way. I’ll help you deal with things as they come up. Jesus was showing them that stepping out in faith is just as valid as waiting on the Lord.

The Wright brothers never would have discovered flight if, instead of following their hearts, had let the fear of failure, of peers laughter, of losing money or time rule their decision making. In fact, they did endure criticism and failure. Years of tests, hypothesis, fails, and re-designs predicated their most famous achievement. What kept them going? Passion, and a refusal to let fear get in their way. Often, the best things in life come after many failures. They were ultimately successful because they dared to live.

Can we make bad decisions? Yes. Will we fail? Probably so. Can our Lord and Savior, creator of the heavens and the Earth, work in our decisions for His glory? Yes, He can! Then why do we let the fear of failure or the fear of making the wrong decision incapacitate us? This is a lack of faith.

We are called to live, really live. Merriam-Webster defines life as “an organismic state characterized by the capacity for metabolism, growth, reaction to stimuli, and reproduction.”  Life is more that getting by, avoiding risk, and saving up for retirement. In fact, life is quite the opposite. We know we are alive by being able to deal with failure (stimuli) and grow through it.

Wake up! Don’t let another day go by anesthetizing your passions with fear. We can never have the promised ‘peace that passes understanding’ while living in fear. You were meant to live for so much more. God has called each and everyone of us to fly.

The Ministry of the Inner Life

"But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light." - 1 Peter 2:9

By what right have we become "a royal priesthood"? It is by the right of the atonement by the Cross of Christ that this has been accomplished. Are we prepared to purposely disregard ourselves and to launch out into the priestly work of prayer? The continual inner-searching we do in an effort to see if we are what we ought to be generates a self-centered, sickly type of Christianity, not the vigorous and simple life of a child of God. Until we get into this right and proper relationship with God, it is simply a case of "hanging on by the skin of our teeth," although we say, "What a wonderful victory I have!" Yet there is nothing at all in that which indicates the miracle of redemption. Launch out in reckless, unrestrained belief that the redemption is complete. Then don't worry anymore about yourself, but begin to do as Jesus Christ said, in essence, "Pray for the friend who comes to you at midnight, pray for the saints of God, and pray for all men." Pray with the realization that you are perfect only in Christ Jesus, not on the basis of this argument: "Oh, Lord, I have done my best; please hear me now."

How long is it going to take God to free us from the unhealthy habit of thinking only about ourselves? We must get to the point of being sick to death of ourselves until there is not longer any surprise at anything God might tell us about ourselves. We cannot reach and understand the depths of our own meagerness. There is only one place where we are right with God, and that is in Christ Jesus. Once we are there, we have to pour out our lives for all we are worth in this ministry of the inner life.

Taken from My Utmost for His Highest: Updated Edition June 21

I'm content

Sometimes I'm overwhelmed by how lucky I am. I am healthy, loved, comfortable, live in a beautiful place, have a great support system, forgiven, and have hope for the future.

What else could you ask for?

…on freedom

The last election I got really excited about Ron Paul and a lot of the Libertarian ideals, even though he was running under for the Republican nomination. Alas, he lost, but I still voted Libertarian, though I can't remember who the guy was at this point. It was on principle, for freedom. Freedom to do what I want, and freedom from others telling me what to do.

Paradoxically, freedom is not doing what I want. This I know for a fact. Pursuing my plans and desires has trapped me in apprehension and disappointment. There is no peace for those always scheming and planning, figuring out how to get ahead. Pursuing ones happiness is selfish in nature, and will only lead to a series of temporary gratifications and ultimately dissatisfaction.

True freedom is being free from apprehension and worry, having a peace 'that passes understanding'. This only comes from complete surrender of our own desires and plans to God's plan. Surrender = giving up = death to self (and our notion that we know what's better for ourselves that God does) = faith = complete trust in God. While we are taught to plan plan plan, work work work, God tells us to rest in Him. In Him is peace from ourselves and the concern of ensuring our happiness.

The weekend before last I went on a little climbing adventure with Brandon and Grant into the North Cascades. The mountains are super steep. I mean right out of the car, we were on a slog straight up the mountain though an old growth forest, up a talus field covered with a thin layer of snow that may or may not hold you weight, across streams, and finally onto a snowfield before arriving at the cliff-line. It was interesting, we had pretty decent weather most of the way up until we were almost to the snowfield. We sat down for a little snack break and saw a fog creeping around the buttress to our left about a thousand feet down and slowly start to make its way up toward us. We put our packs back on and tried to move a little faster, but knew we had no chance against the advancing cloud while post-holing through thigh deep snow.

Soon enough we were engulfed in this world of bright diffused white. Sky and snow look the same. Depth is lost. Every step is second guessed, and you start walking closer to your friends. We stopped and looked at each other trying in vain to gain some courage the others disposition. It was decided that the time had come for the map and compass to guide our way, so I dug out my compass and opened up the map. Unfortunately, it was not the map, but the camping permit. The map was waiting patiently in the backseat of my car for our return.

I wish I could convey the feeling we all felt at this point. It was something along the lines of "Oh Shit!" and "so…". We talked a few minutes about which direction we thought the mountain was, what we though the valley's orientation was, and where we thought we should be going, and hesitantly decided that we should walk north. That was the plan. Walk. North.

At this point, every step became much more cautious. We knew that we didn't know where we were going, nor what could be in front of us. The lack of visibility left far too many variables to our imagination, every slope was now a possible cliff, every forward movement increasing our 'lostness'. After who knows who long, we got to a point where we knew the snow was sloping down on either side and in front of us, who knows how far or how steep. With frazzled nerves, we desperately tried to see something, anything that could fit into what we thought this was going to look like to give us courage to go on. Nothing. We dug a pit for the tent, and decided to settle in for the night, and trace our steps out in the morning.

Before digging, we tossed up a prayer for safety and visibility. To our left we saw what appeared to be a slope and some sort of dark vertical bands that could pass for the westerly cliffline we needed to hike parallel to. This being the case, the slope to our immediate left dropped off who knows how far and we were wise to have heeded our apprehension and stop hiking. Fifteen minutes later, we had the spot cleared and the tent was going up.

Mountain weather is volatile and unpredictable, so the exception can be the rule more times than not. In our case, however, it could not have been chance. Directly above us, surrounded by swirling gray clouds, a circle of blue sky opened up (the first of the day) and illuminated not only where we were, but where we needed to go. The 'perilous cliff' directly to our left turned out to be a gently five foot slope, and the 'vertical rock band' across the 'valley' was another slope twenty feet away and a fifty feet high. Turns out we were miraculously close to the chute needed to gain the last ridge, and in danger of nothing but our own imaginations.

That's what perspective does. When we look at life as something to be wrestled to the ground and willed into submission, we are met with worry, apprehension, guilt, dissatisfaction from things not going our way, and failure. Freedom is what Christ offers. He has the perspective we lack. What seems an impassable obstacle to us is really a gentle five foot slope, we just can't see beyond through the fog. We don't have to understand the peace offered or the direction headed, we just have to have faith that He is taking us where we need to go. Only in giving up on ourselves and clinging to Him can we truly be free.

back in the dark

Scratch what I said on trust. I really don't understand it, or how love is partially defined by trust, and God calling us to love everyone.

So many things I don't understand.

…more on faith

Trust is rather illusive. There are people I trust, and there are people I do not. This, I would argue, is a consequence of their actions. If they are deserving of trust, than I will grant it to them, and vice versa. I feel completely justified in not trusting someone who hasn't proven to be 'trustworthy'. God has given me a brain, and He expects me to use it. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

God has also called me to love, and has shown me by example how to do so. In case I didn't get what was supposed to happen by his example, He lays out what love is and is not in 1 Corinthians 13. In this description, He says that 'love always trusts'. What are we supposed to do with that? Is He asking us to do something that doesn't quite make sense… again?

It seems that trust is quite similar to faith. It doesn't always make sense, and we often can't explain it. For example: God loves the world, therefore by definition there is some sort of trust in there that we certainly haven't earned. This doesn't make sense. To prove this, Jesus entrusted His entire life's work to a handful of friends that had proved themselves to be anything but trustworthy. Why? Because Jesus had faith in them. Faith is essential to trust, you cannot have the latter without the former. The Bible tells us to fight for faith (1 Tim. 6:12) and to trust in the Lord (Psalm 37:3, Proverbs 3:5). Both instances are calls to action, not necessarily based on empirical evidence or how we feel. 

Through faith and a trust in God (neither of which make sense on our terms), we are given grace (which also doesn't make sense). Grace means that because of our faith, we are set free from our past to enter into a relationship with God. Since sin is the antithesis of God, anything containing sin would not be able to stand before God without being destroyed, thus the necessity of forgiveness and Christ's sacrifice. Faith also means accepting Jesus' sacrifice as sufficient and trusting God to change us into the person He designed us to be in the first place.

For the past fifteen years or so, sexual temptations have been my Achilles heel. They have been a constant fight, most of the time with me on the losing side. My whole adult life has been consisted of me trying in vain to do the right thing, and with me failing sooner or later every time. I always wanted to be rid of this sin, to actually believe that I could move on from my past and become the man God wanted me to be, but never had anything to hang my hat on. Why should I believe in myself when I know how I have always acted in the past. I hadn't proven myself trustworthy.

The last month has not been without temptation, but for the first time in I don't know how many years God has protected me from and seen me through every struggle. He has blessed my efforts to seek Him and trust Him with actual results. He has grown my faith, and has cleared my record through His son. Faith is more than just believing that there is a God who has a son who died to save everyone from sin. Faith is knowing that Christ conquered sin, that He has conquered my sin and will pull me out if its chokehold of guilt and doubt if we just ask and seek Him. 

Faith is the beginning of hope. Through suffering, perseverance, and character building, we are blessed with a hope for a better future both here on Earth (by freedom from our past and credited perfection allowing a relationship with God) and in Heaven. Faith in Christ has released us from who we were and has shown us what we have to look forward to, but what about the present?

God's ultimate gift to me, thus far, has been peace. This again, is a product of faith. Once I was released from my past and shown that I needn't worry about my future, I can finally relax and start to enjoy the freedom that Jesus has given to me, all because of an unexplainable faith in Him. This is the "peace that transcends all understanding" (Philippians 4:7) and the way that we can be delivered from all of our fears (Psalm 34:4). If we find ourselves apprehensive or unsettled about anything, it is time we go back to the basics and examine our faith.

I have not arrived at some 'ah-hah' spot, nor am I completely rid of anxiety. I'm not 'there'. I really don't even know where 'there' is. I do know that God's anxiously waiting to take our hand and lighten our load. It's possible. If God can save me and take away my guilt, He can do the same anyone. Give Him and honest chance, really try to learn about Him and He will make your life a lot better. 

This wasn't meant to be a sermon, and I'm not even sure it will make sense to anyone else, but I guess it is what it is. I've just been really interested in how faith, trust, righteousness, and hope work together, and this is what came out. Please let me know if I've missed anything along the way.

…on faith

"For the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength." 1 Cor. 1:25

Trying to make sense of faith seems to be a waste of time. The whole process seems like a circular argument. God is the author and finisher of our faith. God has to place the initial desire to seek Him in our hearts, yet we have to seek God to find Him. The process is not very logical.

A couple weeks ago I had dinner with my boss, who was a theology major at Oxford a few years back. I had been wanting to chat with him about what he had studied and specifically what he believed. He's a really bright guy, and whose opinion I respect, so I didn't think there was any chance of a bad discussion. As the conversation progressed, he decided to respectfully play the devils advocate, and was joined by the maitre d' who didn't have any faith or education about God. They asked me questions like "How could God's laws be fair if no one has been able to keep them except for Jesus Christ, His son?", and "How could God, who claims to love humanity with every fiber of His being, allow the suffering in the world today?", and "If God knew that Lucifer was going to rebel, and that humans would fall, isn't it cruel and selfish to have created us in the first place?"

Perhaps a better man than me would have been able to answer these questions, but I had no logical explanation to rationalize God or the Bible. The way the questions were framed, and from the viewpoint of the maitre d', believing in God is both foolish and irrational. I would agree with the latter, but the former I could disagree with more.

The conversation ended at three in the morning, after many different theological beliefs had been opened and explored. Kevin, my boss, being a theology major, also knew which areas were the most ripe for discussion and interpretation. Anyway, it did end, and we all parted with a new respect for one another due to a heated discussion without the usual personal attacks or name calling associated with such a sensitive topic.

The next day I awoke a little groggy, and trying to make sense of a rather battered and bruised belief system. This whole month, I have been wrestling with some fairly large issues like selflessness, love, faith, and have not been able to make sense of any of them. My hope was to have them all figured out in a months time, or at least a fresh understanding and foundation to begin the summer with, but I feel as if there is more unclear than when I began.

The coast of Northern Oregon is quite spectacular. Mountains would be a generous term, but there are some very sizable hills that dive, quite abruptly in places, right into the Pacific. They form just enough of a barrier to catch the ocean mist and create the kind of ambiance where werewolves are possible and one could imagine Bella and Edward racing through the forest. 

I woke up early last Saturday morning, and went for an isolated walk on the beach. The sky was steel gray, the tide was coming in with a stiff easterly breeze, and the clouds were moving swiftly through the green evergreens blanketing the hills. I found a little sandbar to explore and was soon surrounded on three sides by the approaching tide, with a swim or retreat as my only two options. Right there, I felt close to God. I believe that He was in the mystery and vastness surrounding me, and I was ok with not being able to prove it.

Having to explain things empirically is a very seductive way of thinking, but is in essence flawed. God cannot be explained, he cannot be contained by our 'rational', self-serving thought processes. He's God. Come on! If I can't explain my faith, it's ok. If I can't understand my own faith, that's ok too. Faith in itself is unexplainable. It's definition hinges on things hoped for and things unseen.

Next time someone (or myself) questions my faith, I hope to be content in believing without having to defend myself on their terms of logical and reason. Some questions are too big to answer, you've just got to believe.

sexist thoughts

My Achilles Heel is sexual sin. I have struggled with it for quite a long time. It all started by a good feeling. I began to associate this feeling with a certain type of physical characteristic, in my case, women without imperfection or blemish thanks to hours of prep work, make-up and Photoshop. This association led me to believe that I needed a woman without physical fault, just like the fake pictures in magazines, to make me feel good. It is easy to believe that it is someone else’s job to make me feel good, and if that feeling ever faded to a lesser degree, I would question whether the woman was pretty enough for me. I had conditioned myself to believe I needed the absolute best-looking woman for happiness.

There are several things wrong with this scenario. For starters, the need to have the ‘best’ was just setting myself up for disappointment. It is an ideal that will never be satisfied. In order to have the best-looking girl, I must compare her with every other girl, and she must come out on top every time and in every category. If you’re always scrutinizing someone in comparison to others, at some point you will find something in someone else that is more desirable, or just different. Then what happens, because you realize you are not with your ‘ideal’ person?

That’s the first problem. The second is that this whole system is based on selfishness. It is all about how the girl’s physical beauty makes me feel, and if I no longer feel a certain way about that person’s beauty, then they are no longer good enough for me because they stopped meeting my ideal. I have realized that they are not without flaw.

Why should I have the right to judge someone based on a groundless ideal rooted in selfishness?

For girls, this is a bit harder to pinpoint. Many girls have spent their whole lives dreaming about how a romance will look and feel. Fairy-tales and pop-culture have painted this picture of the ideal guy that always makes the girl feel a certain way. It also tells girls that they deserve the best. This environment produces women with a sense of entitlement for ideals that are really fabrications of culture and imagination. Furthermore, these ideal actions and behavior of the ideal man are all to make the girl feel a certain way. In the same way that I began to feel a need for a pin-up model based on how she would make me feel, so does a girl for a prince charming.

You wouldn’t want to be constantly compared with the cover girls of magazines would you?

These ideals for the perfect guy are a sure recipe for disappointment. It’s no wonder girls don’t trust guys with matters of the heart. If they have built up ideals that cannot be met, guys will disappoint every time. This continual disappointment leads to the cultural belief that guys are not competent enough to love properly, and so it is the girl’s job to teach the guy how to treat her, so that she can feel the way she was taught that she deserves. Again, this is selfish at the core. It’s all about the guy doing things a certain way to make a girl feel the way she has idealized. It is all about her. Society has deemed girls the experts at love (since love is about how the girl feels, and she’s the expert of her own feelings), and guys the buffoons. How then is she supposed to respect the man she can’t even trust to make her happy?

Just as feelings come and go, so will respect and love when based on something so transient as how you feel. God has called us to something much more permanent, and profound than this. His command for men was for them to love their wives. He didn’t say to love their wives when they made them feel a certain way, nor did God qualify the command to love with a woman’s deserving actions. He told men to love, without condition, selflessly, as God leads with example in loving us.

God told wives to respect their husbands. Again, this extends beyond feelings and merit. It’s a command. If a wife’s respect was to be based on a man’s actions, than no man would deserve it, just as there is no flawless woman always deserving selfless love. But God has made provision for our inadequacy and fickleness by fixing these most important tenants of a successful relationship on a permanent and continued decision rather that how one feels at the moment.

Fixing your respect for someone on their ability to make you feel a certain way is what common culture teaches, and is absolutely wrong.

on my career

Work has been pretty slow around the office. Everyone has been hanging on to billable work, leaving me spending my time 'researching' social media and current events.

So, it comes as no surprise that my contract is not going to be renewed. After next Friday I will join the ranks of millions of other unemployed Americans, praying and waiting to see what God has up His sleeve.

Mt. Rainier on a bluebird day

idolize vs. idealize

Ideal (n)- existing as an archetypical idea

Archetypical (n)- the original pattern or model of which all things of the same type are representations or copies: PROTOTYPE; also: a perfect example

Idealize (v)- to give an ideal form or value to

Idealist (n)- one guided by ideals; especially: one that places ideals before practical considerations

Idolize (v)- to worship as a god; broadly: to love or admire to excess

Would you agree that it is safe to describe God as an idealist? I would, and for the sake of this post, will.

We, you and I; you and I and everything else in the Universe, are called by God. We are called to operate according to God’s ideals. If we all had and did, life would be perfect.

I tend to be an idealist as well, though comparing myself to God is an ugly process. Many of my ideals come from scripture. Many do not. There are perfect scenarios in my mind that I wish to be true. Often, I make decisions based on ideals, arguing that it is better to pursue an ideal and fail than to settle for mediocrity. Just as often are decisions made despite my ideals. However, between the two lies a murky grey area.

The problem with the pursuit of ideals is when we forget why we are pursuing them.

Making lots of money would be ideal. Really, money can do a lot of good, but what happens when we start to idolize making money? Our actions and motivations become governed by this new god. We start making decisions based on the ‘need’ for lots of money, and forget why it would have been ideal in the first place. We cannibalize the purpose behind the ideal in order to make more money. We begin to squash and exploit the very people we set out to help.

How about being a good host. That is an ideal trait right? The Bible mentions great hosts many times and the blessings rendered, but what happens when one idolizes being a good host and forgets why being a good host is ideal? Again, I would argue that the possible benefit given would be jeopardized. The host might start judging success in terms of numbers, popularity and reputation rather than good done. Furthermore, one could start to take credit for the good done rather than attributing it to the real source of all blessings.

What about being correct? Liked? Of good rapport? Successful? Being a good leader?

Now, how about God’s character. If anything is ideal, this is it. The Bible tells us to be like God, emulating His very characteristics. Is it even possible to idolize God’s character than? What might that look like?

In my argument, the process of idealizing to idolizing revolves around replacing the original intent of the ideal with the pursuit of the ideal’s characteristics. I would argue that the original intent of pursuing God’s characteristics is to allow us a deeper relationship of God. What happens when we replace this intent with one of idolizing individual attributes?

In the pursuit of being perfect, could we become legalistic, judgmental, and unforgiving? Could idolizing acceptance lead to too much compromise and a rejection of absolute moral guidelines (post-modernism anyone)? How about power… God is powerful right? Are the possibilities of misconstruing the original intent endless; capable of defacing a beautiful God to an entire planet? Could the ramifications of taking our eyes off the ball be so dire?

Yes.

“A fraudulent intent, however carefully concealed at the outset, will generally, in the end, betray itself” –Titus Livius

*All definition taken from Merriam-Webster online